rensahannou: (Default)
[personal profile] rensahannou
Title: Movie Theaters Are Not For Talking
Disclaimer: Not my boys, although I kind of love them like they were.
Pairings/Characters: James/Logan
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1000
Warnings (overall): dialogue-only, silliness

Summary: James has a problem with Logan's movie selection.

Author's Notes: Written for Kre ♥ She wanted Jagan, "watching movies."

This is dialogue-only, so hopefully it's not confusing for anyone. :)


"Wait, I can't read the title for this movie."

"That's because it's in Italian."

"What? Italian? Why is it in Italian?"

"Because it's an Italian movie, James."

"What do you mean? Like, the whole thing is in Italian?"

"Right. It's subtitled."

"You mean I have to read it? I don't want to read a movie, Logan!"

"It's a foreign art film, James. It's cultured. It's good for you."

"It's the reason you're never picking the movie again. I don't come to the theater to read."

"No, you come to the theater to make out with me, which is silly since we can do that at home without paying money."

"You pay for the ambiance."

"And the uncomfortable seats."

"I'm not reading a movie, Logan."

"You'll like it, James. There's nudity."

"Wait, it's a porno? You've brought me to watch porn? We can do that at home too, you know. Also for free."

"It's not porn! It's art!"

"With naked people."

"Tastefully naked people!"

"So what, they just walk around naked all artfully? There's no sex?"

"No, I think there's sex. I don't know how much they show…"

"So this is porn. Italian porn. Expensive Italian porn."

"Shut up and eat your popcorn. That was the expensive part."

"You know, being tastefully naked in a movie sounds like fun. I should look into a role like that."


"I could be in an art film, too. I'm artsy. Plus I look awesome naked."


"No, I don't look awesome naked? Logan, you are the number-one fan of my nakedness."

"No, I don't want my boyfriend being in porn!"

"Fiance, you mean. And what happened to the tastefully cultural art film?"

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"You said this was an art film, now you're saying—"

"No, the other part. The 'fiance' part."

"Oh, right. We're engaged. You should use the proper terminology."

"Um, when exactly did this happen?"

"You don't remember?"

"No…? Oh, wait you don't—are you talking about when you said 'I'm gonna marry you someday' when I was half-asleep one night last week?"


"James that wasn't a proposal! It wasn't even a question! And I definitely didn't say yes."

"You didn't say no, though."

"Because it wasn't a question! And I was almost asleep! And, we'd just…you know."

"So what are you saying, then? That doesn't count?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, James."

"Well, fine then. I'll ask this time."

"What, here? Now?"



"I haven't even asked yet, Logan. You can't reject me before I propose, that's just not fair."

"James you are not proposing in a movie theater!"

"Oh. I guess I can wait till dinner, then."


"Well then when do you want me to ask, huh?"

"In a year!"

"…A year? That's a really long time, Logan."

"It's not that long. We're 19, James. You can't get engaged when you're 19."

"…Is that a new law I haven't heard of?"

"Yes, it's the Logan Mitchell Law of Not Being Stupid and Getting Engaged Before You're 20."

"But we're already pre-pre-engaged, Logan. Right? So the next step—"

"Is being pre-engaged. Not engaged-engaged."

"Okay. So we're pre-engaged, then. Does that make me your pre-fiance? Future-fiance? What's the term I should use?"

"Boyfriend, James."

"…But that doesn't sound like we're anything."

"It sounds like we're a couple, which is exactly what we are."

"But we're pre-engaged. Or do I have to ask you first? I didn't have to ask to be pre-pre-engaged so I'm not sure about the rules, here."

"Can't we figure this out later, James? We've already missed the beginning of the movie, I have no idea what's going on…I'm just glad the theater's nearly empty so no one has gotten mad at us for talking this much."

"The theater's nearly empty because no one wants to see foreign art porn."

"It's not porn, James!"

"So are there naked chicks or naked dudes? Or both?"

"I don't know, why don't you watch and find out? Silently?"

"Fine. Do you want me to tell you what you've missed so far?"

"What, like you know."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the movie Camille dragged me to the other week. There were more people in the theater then, though."


"We asked you to come, but you said something about snails and mood music and…I dunno. You were busy."

"Are you telling me you have seen this movie?"

"Well, sort of. It's hard to watch the action and read at the same time. Mostly Camille filled me in afterwards."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"You knew I went to see a movie with her!"

"No, I mean why didn't you tell me it was this movie? You've been asking all these questions and complaining constantly—"

"Well I didn't know it was the same movie till just now. I recognized that guy. He gets naked later."

"…How many Italian art films do you think are in theaters at once, James?"

"I don't know! It was a different theater! They could show different movies! Do you want to know what you missed or don't you?"

"…You didn't complain when you went with Camille, did you."

"No, she said it would be good for my career to be exposed to different kinds of films."


"Plus, you know, she's kind of scary."


"Are you mad at me now?"

"Are you going to shut up and let me watch this movie?"

"Do you even know what's going on?"

"I'm sure I can fill in the gaps."

"I can tell you."

"I'll just pick it up as I go along."

"Or I could kiss you and then you won't care that you don't know what's going on."

"James I paid to watch this movie and I'm going to—"

"…So, you still care?"


"Oh. Guess I'll have to try again, then."

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February 2013


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